Whats worse...Giving up a scholarship or giving up a dream? What if the scholarship is important and the dream unrealistic? But, what if I'll regret this decision all my life?

Melodrama. I know.

But, it is kind of important. You know, what I'm gonna do for the next 50ish years of my life...

But, I'm also practical. And my realism has taken complete hold of me.

P.S. 20 more days until my Xanga's third birthday.

Ummmm...I guess I'm better now.

Rome in 194 days..
..yeah...you're jealous.

Everything is always so confusing and I haaaate it. I never know what I want or if what I feel like I want is right for me. And then people want me to help them with their problems when I can't even understand my own.

I cannot do this anymore. I've never been able to and it's hard to deal with it now. What made me think I could handle it?

And everything else going on...blaahhhh.

I just wanna break you down so badly.
I trip over everything you say.
I just wanna break you down so badly,
in the worst way.

Is this what it's always gonna feel like without you?

If I had known that, I never would've said those things..

I take it all back. I swear I didn't mean it.

And tonight will go on forever while we
walk around this town like we own the streets.
And stay awake through summer like we own the heat.

I'm gonna stay eighteen forever,
so we can stay like this forever.
And we'll never miss a party
'cause we keep them going constantly.
And we'll never have to listen
to anyone about anything.
'Cause it's all been done
and it's all been said.
We're the coolest kids
and we take what we can get...

You're just jealous 'cause we're young and in love.
You're just jealous 'cause we're young and in love.
You're just jealous 'cause we're young and in love.
You're just jealous 'cause we're young and in love.
You're just jealous 'cause we're young and in love.

I hope all
my days
will be lit
by your face.

I hope all
the years
will hold tight
our promises...

And if I need anything at all..
I need a place that's hidden in the deep,
where lonely angels sing you to your sleep.
Though all the world is broken,
I need a place where I can make my bed,
a lover's lap where I can lay my head.
Because now the room is spinning.
The day is beginning.